At the Pace of What is Real
“Like most people I know, I struggle with taking too much on, with doing too many things, with moving too fast, with overcommitting, with over planning.
I’ve learned that I must move, quite simply, at the pace of what is real.
While the pace may vary, life always seems vacant and diminished
when I accelerate beyond my capacity to feel what is before me.”
When is the last time you felt truly awake to the person, moment, or task before you?
Wakefulness to my life comes in waves. There are times when I bring my energy and focus wholeheartedly, senses alert and engaged, to what is unfolding as it is unfolding.
Then, there are moments when I walk through life on autopilot, disconnected and distracted, like life is “blurring by” me. There is good reason for this.
The times we are living are overwhelming and overstimulating. I feel this professionally, but also as a whole person who returns each day to my partner and two children trying to piece together a life of meaning while keeping my heart open to our beautiful, aching world.
Some are describing these times as VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous). It’s no wonder that some days all we can muster is the energy to do what we can and crash on the couch at the end of the day. Yet, the invitation to move “at the pace of what is real” is so compelling to me I have Nepo’s quote in my office as a constant reminder.
What is most real to you? When do you sense that you are most awake to reality as it is happening? Consider a moment when you noticed yourself savoring, or drawn attentively to an exquisite detail, or that you found yourself resting in a spacious opening even if everything around you was still whirring by. Amid the lure of our scrolling addictions, when is a time that you found yourself simply present to life in its fullness before you?
There are good reasons to breathe and be present in your own life. For one, it’s the only life you have, and you are here in it now! Don’t miss this! There are also countless books and articles on the benefits to your mental, emotional, and spiritual health, your workplace culture, and your relationships with your children, family, and loved ones. Mindfulness based stress reduction (MBSR) has become a proven field of research and practice in medical settings to heal trauma and severe stress and anxiety.
Each of us must determine what this pace is for ourselves, but it starts with orienting our lives around what will best support our ability to be fully present. While grinding it out can be tempting, I find I do my best quality work and bring my best quality self to the person or task before me when I honor my truest capacity for presence. Particularly as a professional facilitator, there is a difference between getting the job done and being fully alert and present with a group of people in a dynamic process together. I can feel the difference in my leadership when I am leading from a distracted instead of grounded place. In my field, we use the language of “dropping in” to describe a leadership quality of deep presence to what is happening as it is happening. adrienne maree brown offers a stunning description of this experience in her book, Holding Change: The Way of Emergent Strategy and Facilitation:
“There are moments in facilitation when you can feel the way of the future unblock, when you can feel the room burst forward on behalf of the species. In those moments, I can feel the tingling prickling aliveness of interconnection, of history, of futures becoming possible. Even in those moments, looking around at each other all brightly shining with the present moment, there are no words vast and timeless enough for the spirit amongst us.” (p.12)
Another persuasive reason to move at the pace of what is real is my deep conviction that the future emerges. Whatever we hope for is connected to now. Our goals, plans, dreams, and visions are not separate from the ways we are living, planning, and acting in the present. When we are most present and attentive to reality as it is happening and actively unfolding, we make ourselves most available to all the possible futures opening before us. Step by step we walk our way into our deepest visions or are in tune enough with the landscape to navigate with agility this volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous terrain without being thrown into overwhelm.
Moving at the pace of what is real is about presence to life in its fullness, experiencing our way through the joy and grief of living. There is plenty of both to go around these days. After watching Frozen for the hundredth time the other day, I realized that Anna, alone in the cave unable to imagine the future, is a wisdom figure for our time,
“I won't look too far ahead
It's too much for me to take
But break it down to this next breath
This next step
This next choice is one that I can make
So I'll walk through this night
Stumbling blindly toward the light
And do the next right thing.”
This next breath. This next step. This next choice. As you prepare to enter another new year, consider evaluating your priorities and commitments through the lens of moving at the pace of what is real.
Maybe if we are all a little more awake, we will see each other again and remember what is possible when we act in harmony with ourselves, each other, and the planet.
When we work and live in ways that honor our own and others wholeness, the world also becomes a little more whole.
